The Reason Why
by Spunky0ne
Summary: Byakuya is stymied when Renji chooses not to pursue a promotion to a captain's seat, and his red haired vice-captain has a stunning answer to why...yaoi, Renji/Byakuya...Warning...contains spoilers from the current manga.


**The Reason Why**

 **By Spunky0ne**

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 **Warning***Contains major spoilers from the current manga!*****

 **Byakuya struggles to understand why Renji has made the choice not to seek promotion, and his vice-captain has a stunning answer...**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

At a little over two hundred twenty years old, there wasn't much that could stymie Byakuya Kuchiki, captain of Gotei 13's sixth division. He had learned some hundred years ago to remain calm, or to at least maintain a facade of calm, even when facing the very real possibility of his own death. The long strands of his raven black hair looked serene, even buffeted by the breezes brought on in exchanges of heavy reiatsu. His fine lips curved slightly downward and he knew how to breathe slowly, in through his perfectly shaped nose and out of his non-smiling mouth, keeping his chin lifted and his chest proud. Neither his slender legs or graceful arms were accustomed to shaking, but held him in a state of virtual readiness for whatever life delivered. In short, he lived in a state of constant preparedness for whatever came his way. And still, that firm foundation was soundly shaken as he entered the sixth division headquarters, greeting his hardworking vice-captain as he did every morning, only to pause mid-sentence upon spotting the one thing that looked out of place on his otherwise uncluttered desk…an opened envelope with the contents partially revealed, hastily tossed down by the recipient and devoid of explanation from the red haired man who worked silently at the desk across the room from his.

His forehead crinkled very slightly and his slim eyebrows dipped, the lovely grey eyes widening with mingled curiosity, surprise and disappointment as he recognized the document and his own beautifully inscribed signature. His vice-captain looked back at him without saying a word, his cinnamon colored eyes set with unusual determination, hiding a thin edge of concealed fear. He knew then, Byakuya realized, what he was doing when he delivered the envelope onto his superior's desk and left it there for Byakuya to find.

"Renji," he inquired, his voice bearing a very slight inflection of uncertainty, " _doushite_?"

Although Renji had been practicing feverishly for several hours after arriving at work uncharacteristically early, just how to field that very question, the air seemed to freeze in the usually unreserved officer's lungs and he couldn't speak as the moment he'd both anticipated and feared came to pass. Byakuya tolerated his silence for several pregnant moments before speaking again.

"Renji?"

Renji stared back at him in dismay as all of the words he had so carefully rehearsed skittered away before he could make a sound. As he struggled to regain his ability to form words, Byakuya'a graceful hand extended and retrieved the offending item from the top of his desk. He gazed at it quietly for a moment, then stepped across the room, breaking the invisible barrier between the two men and making Renji's heart throb and pound painfully as the atmosphere became startlingly more intimate and the envelope tumbled back onto Renji's desk, then fell still again.

"I know exactly what this recommendation means to you," Byakuya went on, his smooth voice still calm, but somehow so intimidating that it brought a sweat to Renji's golden tanned and handsomely tattooed flesh.

Renji quivered for a moment, closing his eyes tightly and steeling himself, then he forced his eyes open and made them meet Byakuya's too beautiful and sweetly mystified grey orbs.

"You have nearly killed yourself a hundred times over, training endlessly so that you could take this step. Why then, upon the moment of achieving such a thing, would you turn back from your greatest accomplishment? You have worked hard and impressed, not just me, but every captain currently serving the Gotei 13. You are the image of what a captain should be…power, beauty, grace and strength. Why, Renji?"

To Byakuya's surprise, the eyes that looked up at him reflected no sign of indecision, but instead deep determination and unbreakable resolve.

"I can see that this is something that did not come easily to you, then, but is the result of a great deal of thought. Will you explain this to me? I know you were eying the open captain's seats with significant anticipation. Why, now, have you done this?"

"You don't know?" Renji said, frowning at the unsettling lack of comprehension in his lovely raven-haired captain's slowly blinking eyes.

Byakuya lapsed into silence and Renji felt an invisible wall rise up suddenly between the words he knew he needed to say, and his stubbornly immobile mouth. He took a stabbing breath and his heart pounded harder.

"I'm surprised, Captain," he admitted, "After all, you were the one who told me…the one who pointed out at the funeral of Chojiro Sasakibe, that, at that time, younger men like ourselves couldn't possibly understand the feelings that the captain commander was having when he lost his vice-captain."

Byakuya drew in a shaky breath and the fingers of one hand twitched, barely perceptibly.

 _The one that was torn off when As Nodt made Senbonzakura attack him in front of me_ , Renji recalled.

The memory made a chill invade his midsection for a moment. He took a steadying breath and pressed on. He was stopped in his tracks as Byakuya spoke unexpectedly.

"But…I would not be losing you really," he posited, "I would only be letting you grow as you should."

"Chojiro never stopped growing," Renji pointed out, "He continued to work hard every day, and he improved over time. To the very end, sir, he was still improving."

A measure of guilt registered in Byakuya's eyes, prompting the redhead to stand and move closer.

"Renji, I didn't mean…" Byakuya began.

"I know," Renji interrupted, adding a belated, "sir."

He sucked in another stinging breath.

"I know exactly how you meant what you were saying," he went on, "And what I am telling you is that what we went through in the quincy war made me understand why Chojiro made that choice and stuck to it like he did."

Renji could almost see Byakuya's heart quicken in reaction, and he found the sudden betrayal of emotion in those lovely grey eyes melting.

"You cannot throw away your future, binding yourself to me in such a way!" Byakuya protested, "Renji, I won't let you!"

"Do you think that Head Captain Yamamoto didn't say the same thing to Chojiro?" Renji asked pointedly, "Not to disrespect you in any way, sir, but that isn't your call. It's mine, and it can only ever be mine. I made my decision, and I am sticking to it."

For just a moment, Byakuya's mask of calm shattered, and a look of unrestrained regret took over his face. Renji wasn't sure what gave him the courage at that moment, but somehow his hand extended if its own accord and came to rest on the surprisingly soft haori that covered Byakuya's shoulder. His captain's once invulnerable mask broke apart, and a glint of desperation reflected deeply in Byakuya's eyes.

"Renji…"

"Captain, please don't try to change my mind. I've given this a lot of thought, and I think it's the only right answer for me."

"But…?"

"Listen," Renji said, breaking the next unspoken barrier and taking Byakuya's partially gloved hands in his.

 _His hands feel so small for what they've accomplished_ , the redhead mused, _and I don't know how they stay so soft, as hard as he trains. Amazing…_

"The day I first met you, you took Rukia from me," Renji went on, "I know you had no idea what that meant…that she and I would not even look at each other directly or speak to each other for forty years. I'm not going to lie to you. It was awful, after growing up with her, to separate from her like that."

"I am sorry, Renji."

Renji was startled at the admission, but he steeled himself and pressed forward.

"I turned those feelings into a vendetta that I focused on you, and for years, I lied to you, to me and to everyone else, planning behind your back to learn your weaknesses and to grow strong enough to defeat you. That was my way of getting back into her life."

"But now, you have already done that," Byakuya said, his frown deepening, "You have grown so strong that you now stand as my equal, and the day is soon coming that you will begin to overcome me in our training battles. Renji, you and Rukia have what you lost, do you not?"

"Y-yeah," Renji said, releasing one of Byakuya's hand to reach up and scratch the back of his own neck thoughtfully.

"Then, what are you waiting for?" Byakuya said sternly, "Take the captain's position and ask me for Rukia's hand, you fool!"

Byakuya blinked and stared at the look of shock that appeared on the redhead's tanned face.

"Ask you f-for…?"

"Well, you want to marry her, don't you?" Byakuya persisted, "It is the next logical step for you. Why this sudden determination that you must remain with me? You are not making sense, Abarai!"

"I'm making plenty of sense!" Renji objected, "Just give me a sec, here, okay? You know, this is a little scary."

Byakuya sighed and his face relaxed slightly.

"Change can be that way," he suggested, "But that doesn't mean that you should hold yourself back."

"I'm not holding myself back," Renji assured him, "I'm moving forward, just…with a different set of goals."

"You…don't want to marry Rukia?" Byakuya asked, his confused expression turning Renji's heart into a fluttery mess.

"No," he said firmly, "Rukia and I are always going to be close friends, but that's all. I'm not doing this for her. This is for me. It's what I want. It's what matters most to me, Captain."

"I do not understand," Byakuya said, giving him a stymied look, "What are you telling me, Renji?"

Renji gently squeezed the one of Byakuya's hands he still held.

"I'm telling you that I don't want to just get stronger to defeat you, and I don't want to get promoted just to be good enough to marry Rukia. I'm telling you that, while you and I were fighting the quincies and watching people die all around us, while we were getting our asses kicked and we nearly died together, I realized the one thing that mattered most to me."

"Abarai…"

"Please don't stop me," Renji pleaded softly, "I need to get this out. I have to say it to you. You can do what you want, once I have. Just…I need to do this."

Byakuya took a steadying breath.

"Then, by all means, proceed."

Renji closed his eyes for a moment, drawing himself backwards in time to find his explanation.

"I saw you fall," he said finally, watching the heavier reaction in Byakuya's eyes, "I felt your reiatsu fading and I knew you were dying, and in that moment, the one and only thing I wanted…was the strength to protect you. I was supposed to do that…"

"Renji, I…"

"I _know_ what you're going to say, Captain," Renji insisted, cutting him off and cringing inwardly at the flash of anger in Byakuya's expression, "You don't need my protection. And if you aren't strong enough to protect your own life, then you don't deserve to keep it. I admire your courage, sir, but that's not what this is about. This is about my failure to protect someone who matters to me, someone I want to protect, someone I…love."

The instant flush that rose on Byakuya's pretty, pale flesh made Renji's heart skitter and dance dangerously and he felt a deeper reaction, low in his belly, trailing into his loins.

"You…?"

"I love you, Captain Kuchiki," Renji said, forcing the words out, then reeling as they fell on Byakuya's ears, and Renji realized that he hadn't immediately summoned his bankai.

Byakuya stared at him in stunned silence, his cool composure lost and his face flushed and more expressive than Renji had ever seen it.

"I don't know exactly when I fell in love with you," the redhead pressed on, his voice shaking noticeably, "All I know is that I can't feel something like this and just walk away from you. I told you before that I didn't want to marry Rukia, and that's the truth. She and I are friends, but…the only person I would ask to marry me is you."

Renji almost lost his nerve at the sudden, sharp breath Byakuya took.

"I know I'm not good enough…"

"Yes."

"And I'm not a girl, so I can't have your kids."

"Renji, I…"

"It's fine. I get it. And it's okay, really. I just needed to say it to you. I hope it doesn't make things awkward between us."

"Do you have a hearing problem, Renji?" Byakuya asked, scowling in a way that made the redhead freeze instantly and play back the words in his head, "I said yes."

"Y-you…wh-what?" Renji managed, a bright blush roaring across his handsome features.

"I do not appreciate being made to repeat myself," Byakuya chided him, making Renji dissolve into a huff of relieved laughter, "I said yes, I will marry you…if that was a serious offer."

"Oh, it was," Renji panted anxiously, "I know it was, cause my legs are shaking and I feel like I'm scared to death!"

"And you were that convinced I would say no?" Byakuya scolded him, "After a beautiful proposal like that?"

"B-but what about the rules? You know, not bringing peasants into the family and having heirs and all of that? I thought you weren't going to break the rules."

Byakuya sighed.

"I suppose I gained some perspective when I was defeated, and for a time, I could not sense whether you were alive or dead. It was a humbling moment, truly."

"Y-yeah," Renji agreed, "for both of us."

"But that moment passed and we lived," Byakuya said more softly, "We made ourselves stronger and we protected each other. And we've come back and started over. Renji, I thought that recommending you for a captain's seat would be sufficient to show my admiration for you, and how far you have come."

"Your admiration," Renji repeated, an edge of disappointment in his voice.

Everything in the redhead's body seemed to halt for a moment as a faint smile rose on lips that usually only ever frowned. The effect was intoxicating, and Renji reeled as the smile, the softness of Byakuya's haori and slightly clenching hand, undid him. He couldn't move as Byakuya closed the distance between them and pressed those barely smiling lips to his, then moved them to his ear.

"And my love as well," he whispered, bringing the stunned redhead nearly to the point of collapse, "I love you too, Renji."

"B-but you thought I was in love with your sister," Renji stammered.

"And it would have hurt, but I would have given you permission to marry Rukia, had you asked me," Byakuya confessed, "I would then, at least have had the closeness of family with you, even if you could not love me back. I would have accepted that."

Renji gave him a teasing smile that widened at the deeper flush it brought to Byakuya's comely face and throat.

" _Doushite_?" Renji purred into his ear, exciting a shiver that seemed to strike both men, "Why would you do that? Why would you hold yourself back when you deserve to have what you want from me?"

Renji lost the ability to speak as Byakuya's mouth attacked his roughly, and the noble pressed forward, backing him up to the wall, trapping him gently, then invading him with compelling warmth and softness, and the paralyzing sweet scent of his body that was only separated from Renji by their clothing. Something broke in the redhead's mind as Byakuya's soft, pink tongue thrust into his mouth, touching and exploring fervently, tasting him and plunging in more deeply until the long kiss became beautifully painful. Renji sucked in a dragging breath as Byakuya's mouth broke away for a moment and the noble's dark grey orbs burned into his.

"Will you come with me to my quarters?" Byakuya asked.

Renji knew he couldn't have heard those words, not from the lovely, prim, reserved and very proper captain he knew. And he was sure he couldn't have moved, but had to have been lifted off into the air and floating as the two continued to kiss, crossing the office in slow steps as they approached the hallway, then moved into it, heading towards that forbidden place that Renji had only ever dreamed of lying down with the raven-haired beauty.

As soon as they had passed through the doorway, into that quiet sanctuary, Byakuya turned suddenly, shoving him up against the door, slamming it shut and then invading Renji's mouth and pressing that incredibly warm, willing body against the surprised redhead. The noble's hips ground into his forcefully as they kissed, and Renji's heart raced so fast he swayed dizzily, his spinning mind well aware of what Byakuya was probably about to do to him. He was shocked all over again as Byakuya stepped back from him, and Renji pitched forward helplessly, and barely kept himself from falling. He panted in reaction, struggling to decide what it was that Byakuya wanted. Then, his insides were jolted with the realization.

 _He wants me to undress him?_

He knew from Rukia that the only one Byakuya allowed to remove his clothing was his trusted, longtime attendant, Torio Kuchiki. But the look in the noble's eyes warned Renji that it wasn't a good idea to delay. He cleared his throat and stepped forward, sliding his fingers under the fine haori and sliding it off of his shoulders. The smoky glare in Byakuya's eyes was enough to tell him it was unwise to hesitate, even for a moment. Renji hung the haori over a chair and moved on to release the tie at Byakuya's waist, making his uniform fall open, and revealing more of the noble's fine flesh than he was usually allowed to see.

 _Only his attendant is allowed to see him naked._

 _Now, it's only Torio and me._

The thought made his fingers clumsy as they removed Byakuya's top, baring him to the waist and gracing the already soundly shaken redhead with a perfect view of the wide expanses of his perfect, pale flesh.

"Beautiful," he breathed, earning an almost shy look of approval from his usually stern senior officer as he laid aside the top and glanced down at Byakuya's barely clinging hakama.

He took hold of the sides and excited a piqued groan of arousal from between the noble's tightly pressed lips as he descended, pulling the hakama down and planting feathery kisses all of the way along Byakuya's exposed torso. He paused to tease a pretty, pink nipple, making Byakuya pant in reaction at the delightful teasing. Renji kissed his way down further, pausing again to drive his pointed tongue deep into the noble's vulnerable navel, making Byakuya's head tilt forward and long strands of raven colored hair trickle onto his face. Renji brushed more kisses along the trail of black hairs that led to Byakuya's alert privates, pausing for a moment to catch Byakuya's eye teasingly. He took a deep breath, inhaling the compelling scents of fine clothing, sweet sakura and man, before bowing his head and placing his hands on Byakuya's soft thighs. Byakuya's breaths quickened and a little, highly aroused moan escaped his lips and slammed unforgivingly into Renji's overwhelmed senses. The redhead's loins reacted painfully as he moved closer to a place he'd never dreamed of being allowed to even see, let alone explore freely. A surprised gasp escaped him as Byakuya's firm hand wrapped around the back of his neck, holding and encouraging him as Renji closed the distance and made contact.

"O-oh, Abarai!" Byakuya managed shakily, quivering with delight as the redhead's mouth began to pleasure him.

The fingers wrapped around the back of Renji's neck tightened and Byakuya's hips moved to increase the mind numbing friction. He panted hard, unable to utter anything intelligible as the redhead's capable ministrations began to undo him. He clenched his teeth, reeling visibly as Renji dampened one rough-skinned finger and teased his entrance questioningly.

"Oh gods, please, yes!" the noble moaned.

He lost his composure completely, writhing scandalously as the combination of Renji's hot, marauding mouth and invading digit brought him nearly to the ends of his wits. He had no resistance left as Renji broke away from him and coaxed him to the bed. Byakuya collapsed onto his back, shocking Renji all over again as he spread his thighs wide, inviting a more thorough invasion.

"B-but…!"

"Sh-shut up!" Byakuya snapped heatedly, "You wanted me. I am yours. Now, make love to me, Renji!"

Renji knew better than to hesitate. He moved into position, gazing down into Byakuya's wanton eyes and smiling. The noble flinched and made a sound of pain as he tried to enter slowly, only to surrender easily as Byakuya's body surged up against his. Abandoning gentleness, he took possession of his beautiful captain's body, making Byakuya moan more loudly and writhe uncontrollably with each hard, grinding thrust.

 _Perfect_ , Renji mused as their movements carried them from heightened arousal, to near desperation, then spinning into a sweet state of complete bliss. Renji held on tightly, shuddering and drinking in the lovely, erotic sounds he had never imagined his normally stoic captain could make. He collapsed onto Byakuya's body, clinging as though his body had melted and wrapped around Byakuya, remaining joined with him, even after they had begun to recover.

"So, you're really going to marry me, Captain?" he giggled, "Really?"

"Of course I am," Byakuya assured him, "But…I want you to reconsider taking the captain's test. You are ready, Renji. You deserve to be a captain."

"That doesn't matter to me," Renji sighed, giving the piqued noble a little kiss on a brightly flushed cheek, "This is all that matters. I wanna be with you…forever."

Byakuya gazed at him sternly for a moment, prepared to object. But something in him wouldn't let him speak, so he sighed resignedly and nuzzled closer to his handsome lover, resolving that he would certainly try again later when the two were dressed and more sensible.

But after several more heated joinings, Byakuya's resolve melted, and he cuddled deep into Renji's embrace, savoring the intense warmth and powerful feeling of connection.

"So," Renji said, smirking, "when should we tell Rukia about us? Before or after her promotion ceremony?"

Byakuya surprised him all over again with a genuine smile.

"After," he answered, closing his eyes, "We will all want to enjoy her special moment."

"Yeah," Renji answered sleepily, "Then we can have ours."

"Then we can have ours," Byakuya agreed.


End file.
